Lie to me
by Girlinthewind76
Summary: When Edward is more interested in dusty old alchemy texts than his fiancée, Winry takes a moment to amuse herself at his expense. Or does he?


**Summary: When Edward is more interested in dusty old alchemy texts than his fiancée, Winry takes a moment to amuse herself at his expense. (Or hers?) **

**AN/ this dribbled out my ear and onto the keyboard. It has absolutely no plot, it's pretty much pure, mindless fluff. Manga-compliant, Ed has returned from the West to fulfill his promise to a certain Mechanic. **

**Hey look! No hands, no feet, no beta! (what could possibly go wrong)…**

XXX

"Hahaha! No way Nelly I'm not _that_ freaky about machinery!"

"Tell that to the stacks of car assembly manuals under your bed; you don't even own a car!"

"Pfft, it's not that unusual for people to have a stack of car magazines!"

"Uh-uh, don't give that off with your old washed-up generalizations; I SAW you kissing the covers once! That's not natural!" Nelly pouted, keeping pace with Winry while she shifted the bundle of groceries in her arms. They'd met up at the store and Winry had felt like catching up with small-town gossip and idle girl-talk. But when she'd invited Nelly to walk home with her, she hadn't bargained on the subject changing to her personal eccentricities.

_Well, whatever,_ Winry thought. _I won't sound weird or anything as long as she keeps off automail...I know I won't be able to contain myself if she brings that up…_

"Shut-up. I wasn't kissing it, I was _smelling_ it. Scratch-and-sniff stickers are the best!" Winry sniffed.

"What are scratch-and-sniff stickers doing in a mechanics magazine?" Nelly lifted a dubious eyebrow.

"Duh, new car-smell! It smelled beautiful."

Nelly sighed. "I'm worry about you sometimes. You're beautiful, you live with two hot bachelors occasionally, have a steady income and a bright future…and yet you waste your life fantasizing on the rainbow of alloys and their uses." Nelly came to a halt, brown eyes glinting with humor even as she snorted, "what's wrong with you?! I thought our walk home would be filled with girl-talk and stuff."

Leaning suspiciously close to her face, Nelly whispered theatrically, "And I also thought I wouldn't have to persuade you to spill the beans on Alphonse!"

Winry looked at her warily. "Al? Al and I? Or Al and his Xingese girlfriend?"

Nelly stuck out her bottom lip, looking disappointed. "Poop. He's taken? Dang…Wait, is it a long-distance relationship? Because then I still might have a chance to woo him."

Winry's long blonde hair swished when she shook her head in amusement. "I can't believe you just said 'woo him.'"

"I'm cute like that." Nelly grinned, obviously taking no offense. It brought a small Edward-esque smirk to the corner of Winry's mouth as an image of Alphonse's latest postcard came to mind, which included a picture of Al and Mei pecking happily in the background.

"I don't think Al would be interested. Sorry Nel."

"Shame, he's a looker…I don't know why he was so insecure about his appearance a few years ago, wearing that ridiculous armor everywhere!" Nelly barked a laugh, slapping Winry on the shoulder.

"Mmm. Yeah, you're right, he's definitely more confident now."

"Did he ever tell you what that was all about?" Nelly asked innocently, yet the question twanged an old nerve she'd never completely gotten over. The boys' old habit of locking them out of their world through secrecy to this day still brought a sour taste to her mouth whenever it was brought up. Yet…

"Yeah, eventually." Saying it made her eyes sparkle happily. After the promised day when they'd finally come home to her, Ed had sat down with her and spilled his guts, with Al giving his input every now-and-then. Sometimes the narrative made her cry, but still she could see the burden of secrecy Ed and Al had been carrying for years lift off their shoulders as they got it off their chests at last.

The pair carried on in idle chatter for a few more minutes until the turn for Nelly's house came up and Winry bid her friend good-bye, after which she carried on towards her house in reflective silence. The "Rockbell Automail" sign greeted her proudly as she passed it on her way up the porch, waving gently in the breeze.

"Den! Here girl!" Den, who had trotted obediently alongside her master, peered up when she heard her name.

"Open the door Den."

"Ruff!" Den reared on her hind legs to sat at the door-knob for a few moments until her heavy paws caught and the door swung open.

"Good girl! Hang on, I'll have a treat for you in just a sec."

The house was cool and silent upon entering, quiet except for the ticking of the clock above the fireplace. Winry rushed to put the groceries away, finishing quickly so she could start on making dinner….after a shower. She grabbed a treat from the jar on the counter for Den and wandered towards the clicks of Den's nails against the hardwood upstairs.

"Here girl! I got treats!" Like she'd muttered a dog-summoning incantation, Den magically appeared out of thin air (just out of Ed's room) to pant excitedly at her feet.

"Sit!" Den sat.

"Uh…roll over!" Den whined, but obeyed.

"Oh you sweet, adorable dork…here you go!" The crunch of canines clacking against each other dimmed as Winry stepped into the room Den had vacated. It was dusk outside; Winry could see dust motes floating lazily in pale shafts of light through the blinds onto the room's only bed.

On it laid Edward, entirely focused on the alchemy text in his hands and not on his fiancée three feet away. His flaxen hair wasn't bound by any restraint, so his long hair fanned out on the pillow and shone dimly in the faltering light. As she stood there, continuing to remain unnoticed, Ed flipped a page to scrutinize some array.

"I'm home Ed…" Winry tried half-heartedly. When he got like this he barely heard anything she said. Her voice was just so familiar sometimes he brushed it off as background noise. It reminded her of herself whenever she had rush-jobs without a moment to spare for chatter. So she understood why her soon-to-be-husband didn't so much as turn to look her way when he grunted s vacant acknowledgment. But…really now. Some bigger form of acknowledgment should be required now that she was his _fiancée. _ Like a simple "welcome home," or at least a "Hey Winry." Perhaps even a hug if she demanded it.

"How's the book?" Winry tried again.

"…Mm. Fine." Came the monosyllabic response. Winry pouted. She could already feel that this was a lost cause.

"Did Al send it over?"

"Mm." The hum could've been a yes or a no, she just couldn't be sure. Ed had started mumbling Alchemical gibberish under his breath. Sighing, she made one last try, girlishly imagining her feminine whiles could draw him away or some crap like that.

"I' m looooonley Edward…"

"The chromium…oxide would react with the zinc..."

"Argh!" Winry threw her hands up, giving up. Huffing, she went to leave and cool off in a nice hot shower when a thought hit her. Remembering a tid-bit of a game Nelly used to play with her boyfriend Pitt whenever he got distracted by something that wasn't her, Winry turned again to face the aggravating blonde.

She took a calm breath in before she placed both hands on her hips.

"I have a bloody nose."

"Mm-hm." Ed hummed, and flipped the next page.

"I think it's because I broke it. Against the doorknob."

"Fine."

"…"

"…"

"Al showed up out of nowhere, I saw him at the market. He and I talked for awhile about you."

"…"

"About you."

"…Mm-hmm…"

"About us. About our relationship…"

"…seven triangles in one perfect circle, interlocking to establish unity and represent—"

"He told me to break up with you because he discovered he's madly in love with me. There was a messy break-up with Mei, but Al said it was worth it."

"…hmm."

"Also, me and Al got to talking, and one thing led to another and before I knew it we were making out in the street, so someone yelled 'get a room!' So we rented a hotel room."

"8 grams-no, it says just 4…"

"…And Ed? I'm—this is hard for me to say—I'm pregnant with quadruplets."

"…"

"You're going to be an Uncle."

"…doubling the amount of sodium would create an adverse reaction…"

"So…yup." Winry bit her lip to hold in the snickers that were building up in her chest. _He'll never know!_

"Anyway, I just wanted to get it off my chest. See you later honey." Winry smirked in triumph as, with a swish of vanilla-grease scented hair she padded towards the door. But before she'd even reached the doorway there was a loud 'clap!' of an alchemy tone shutting and a creak of the floorboards as Edward slipped off the mattress.

"Six." Ed said lowly.

Winry tensed in the doorway, glancing over her shoulder to look at the blonde ex-alchemist.

"…Uum, w-what? Did you say something Ed?"

Instead of responding, Ed's face melted into an inscrutable mask. He stood still.

"I said…six…yeah it was definitely six." Ed folded his arms.

"Um, why are you saying some random number? Does it have anything to do with me?"

"Yes."

"…Well? I'm waiting on a real answer! Explain!"

"The number of lies you told me. I counted six." A self-confident grin slid up his face. Winry gulped, barely holding back a corned 'erk," in reaction to his (knowing) predatory eyes. Some deep-rooted instinct whispered to play dumb, so she decided to try it.

"Whaaaat?...L-lies? Me? L-lying?" Nailed it.

"You're so stupid Winry. Thought I wasn't listening to every word that left your mouth?"

"N-no I—hey! You buttface! You mean you seriously always listen when I talk about automail and maintenance and everything like that AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!?"

"Forget that for a second! Lie number one— I don't see any bloody nose."

"Hmmph!"

"Lie number two—Al's nowhere _near_ Resembool." Ed took a step forward, but Winry's feet were glued to the floor.

"Lie number three—Al and you don't l-love each other like that."

"Eeeedwaaaard!"

Edward stepped up to lift her chin with one hand while the other tugged her hips to meet him. "I know you don't 'cause he's not the one who owns 85% of your life."

Winry stopped struggling as she felt short fingernails trace the dip of her waist. Meanwhile Ed kept his face frustratingly far away from hers to make proper eye contact. "And you want to know what I was thinking when you said all those things after?"

Winry raised an eyebrow.

"I was thinking about replacing myself in all those cute scenarios you whipped up."

"E-every single one E-Ed?"

"Down to the quadruplets."

XXX

-Fin

**Erk, hope Ed's not too OOC :| I got this idea off an old Doctor Who fic I read…can't remember what it was called but the pairing was Ten/Rose :D shout-out for my two beautiful OTPs!**


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